did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
