tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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