Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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