am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
