3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
