It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can I color on your dick again?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
