Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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