Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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