and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
