He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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