Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
