So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
