I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
