Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
