Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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