lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
