Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
