it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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