She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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