That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize