did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
