Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
