Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize