You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We just shotgunned beers for America
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
