I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He felt like a one man threesome
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
