nut hugger
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize