O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize