Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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