I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
