I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I would fuck him just for his dog
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
