so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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