If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
