He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
