Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
