Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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