I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
