lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
