Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
