yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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