love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So many bounce houses so little time
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
