I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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