I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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