super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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