She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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