Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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