Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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