no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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