Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
