Duck Duck Cougar?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
