It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
