Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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