Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize