I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
