How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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