i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
