I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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