My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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