i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
