Swine flu. Run for my life!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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